Three retired guys, vacationing from California, are walking down a street in historic Medora, ND.

They turn a corner and see a sign that says.....

"The Old Timer's Roughrider Bar ... ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!"

They look at each other in disbelief ... and then enter the bar.

The bartender says, in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you guys. What'll it be, Gentlemen?"

There seems to be a fully stocked bar, so the 3 men each asked for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 3 iced martinis and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."

They can't believe their good luck. Each guy pays his 10 cents.

They finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, three excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 30 cents, please." They pay the 30 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand.

They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar.

One of the men asks the bartender, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for only a dime each?"

"Well, here's my story, I'm a retired tailor from Brooklyn, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $525 million dollars and I decided to open this place. It's just a hobby for me.

Every drink costs a dime ... wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same."

"Wow! That's quite a story," says one of the men.

The three of them sipped at their martinis but couldn't help but notice three other guys who had been sitting at the other end of the bar, who didn't have a drink in front of them ... and they hadn't ordered anything.

One man gestures toward the three guys at the end of the bar and asks the bartender, "What's with those guys?"

"They're farmers from North Dakota..... They're waiting for Happy Hour."

Rep. Ann Robinson, D-Casper, will offer an amendment to the budget -- possibly as early as today -- to exempt food from the state's 4 percent sales tax for two years. Because budget bills are good for only two years, the tax break would have to be renewed if it passes.

[...]

Sen. John Barrasso, R-Casper, will offer an identical amendment to the budget bill in the Senate, Robinson said.

She said Monday that her bill is "the wisest choice." Information she obtained from the Legislative Service Office, she said, estimated that a family of four would need an income between $200,000 and $360,000 per year to get as much benefit from the overall sales tax cut as the family would from the tax break on groceries.

[...]

Democratic Gov. Dave Freudenthal is recommending the state sales tax cut from 4 percent to 3.5 percent to begin July 1 and save residents $140 million in taxes for the biennium.

[...]

Rep. Colin Simpson, R-Cody, a Joint Appropriations Committee member, said the food tax break amendment would cost the General Fund $46 million for the two-year biennium while the sales tax cut recommended by Freudenthal would cost $190 million for the same period. The latter figure includes money for local governments to make up for the decrease in sales tax revenue.

WSJ -- "What we have here is the dawn of the new Yosemite Sam school of national politics. Put any news event in front of our politicians now--Hurricane Katrina, Terri Schiavo, Dick Cheney's quail or this week the ports--and like Bugs Bunny's hair-triggered nemesis they'll start spraying the landscape with wild remarks and opinions decoupled from what is knowable about these events. Wait to learn the facts--as almost alone, Sen. John McCain, suggested? Why bother?" [emphasis added]

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it. She says, "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies. The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

"While much of the media has the courage of Chicken Little in the throes of an anxiety attack, there are heartening examples to the contrary. When Britt Hume ends his broadcasts by intoning, “Fair, balanced and unafraid,” it means something. The Fox Report that Hume anchors is filmed in the shadow of the U.S. Capitol. On 9/11 while Hume broadcast from his regular set, he did so with full knowledge that a hijacked plane was streaking across Pennsylvania aimed at a high profile Washington target. Most people figured it would either be the White House or the Capitol.

"Hume didn’t suspend broadcasting or kick things over to a different bureau. He continued through that horrible morning doing his job, providing information to a country that badly needed it. If you want to be in the fray, you’ve got to have some guts."

"Remember media coverage during the [first] Gulf War? Reporters live and on-the-spot, outside in the dark while tracers and rockets lit up the sky behind them? Very dramatic stuff. I turned on Fox one morning while I was preparing the caffeine drip. There’s Geraldo. Live, outside in the dark, hair ruffled, collar turned-up, half crouching and glancing nervously over his shoulder, breathlessly telling us that he’d just arrived in Pakistan. Pakistan! There was nothing out there but dark. He wasn’t on-the-spot. Not even close. The setting was all for dramatic effect. He’d might as well been reporting from a studio in Burbank. I was expecting Jerry Springer to be the next ‘war correspondent on the scene’."

"Merely working for the government should not prevent you from expressing yourself on matters not directly related to your employment (with direct relation construed narrowly). To adopt a contrary rule would exert an unwanted chilling effect, deterring anyone remotely interesting, creative, witty, or fun from entering government service -- which, if the current Congress is any indication, has already happened."

"The "blogging while at work"/"misuse of government resources" argument is a makeweight contention. Every job, and especially every government job, has lots of downtime. If Stormie wants to use her downtime to do a little creative writing, while other Sessions staffers use theirs to buy crap on eBay, what's the harm in that?"

"... They had been out to Cedars of Lebanon State Park. I relayed a story that years back I had gone out there one day for a relaxing walk and ran into an elderly park ranger. He and I talked for about an hour, and in the process told me that the "cedars" they named the park after weren't true cedars. "They're actually jupiters", he said. "Jupiters or junipers?" I asked. "No, they're jupiters". Okay then. ..."

"Also, death to America, death to Israel, yada yada, yada."

In a school just outside of Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Steeler's fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Steeler's fans too. Not really knowing what a Steeler's fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However, there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy had not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different . "Because I am not a Steeler's fan" says Timmy.

The teacher then asked, "What are you?"

Timmy said "I'm a Seahawk's fan."

The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she asked Timmy why he was a Seahawk's fan.

" Well, my mom and dad are Seahawk's fans so I'm a Seahawk's fan too."

The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?"

Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Steeler's fan."

"The English Cittern, having four courses, a bizarre but useful tuning, and often a built-in hook for wall hanging, had a low reputation, due to its popularity in taverns, barber shops and houses of ill repute. It is normally strummed with a crow quill, and it produces a rich, banjo-like sound which is ideal for accompanying vulgar ballads."

An Iowa farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Sheehan, who was invited to attend the speech by Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D-Calif., was charged with demonstrating in the Capitol building, said Capitol Police Sgt. Kimberly Schneider. The charge was later changed to unlawful conduct, Schneider said. Both charges are misdemeanors.

Sheehan was taken in handcuffs from the Capitol to police headquarters a few blocks away. Her case was processed as Bush spoke.

Schneider said Sheehan had worn a T-shirt with an anti-war slogan to the speech and covered it up until she took her seat.

Police warned her that such displays were not allowed, but she did not respond, the spokeswoman said.